Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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