Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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