Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I love black thongs
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
