I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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