I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
