how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
