Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
