i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
where are my eyebrows?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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