3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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