Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize