butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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