We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
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Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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