I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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