we have pet lesbian snakes
I've blown a few things in my day
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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