the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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