Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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