i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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