look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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