we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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