Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize