I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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