doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
