his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.