Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
