Quick, to the slutcave!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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