My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
honey bunches of taint.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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