i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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