I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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