A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
