so let's talk penis.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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