You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
