It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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