i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
