just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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