I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
