Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
