I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
