You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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