We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
