Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
