I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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