He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
