i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
