The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
