I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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