drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize