my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
