I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
