Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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