I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
