your room smells of hookers.
And success
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
