Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
