i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
