I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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