So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
