She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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