This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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