was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
